I can't say I love him as much as on our wedding day...

How's that for an anniversary declaration?  "Hey babe!  Happy anniversary!  I can't believe it has been four years... I absolutely do not love you as much as I did on our wedding day."

Well, anyone who knows Alex and me can figure out where this is going.  No, I most certainly do not love my husband less than I did when we said "I do" four amazing years ago.  But I don't love him "just as much" as I did on that day, either.  In fact, I find the "I'm just as much in love with you as I was back then" sentiment (taken literally) to be a profoundly sad one.  If I haven't learned to grow in my love for my husband in these last four years, then I have seriously been slacking.  I mean, it would take a conscious effort to not love him more as I've gotten to know him even better and have seen what an amazing husband and father he is.  I loved him an awful lot when he proposed to me with candles and music and roses and champagne.  I love him so much more as he's daily dying to self to care for a feisty toddler, an energetic preschooler, and an overly emotional pregnant wife!  And I trust that by the grace of the sacrament of our marriage I will continue to love him more and better until, God willing, we are perfectly united in loving God in heaven.

maybe a little ways to go before perfect union...

It reminds me of what St. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13: "But when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away... For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood" (vv. 10 and 12).  The more I understand, and the more fully I am understood, the more I love.  When I married Alex I certainly knew enough to know I loved him; every day I learn a little bit more and love a little bit more.  I knew he would be a great father from watching him interact with his niece; now I marvel over and over at what an incredible father he is every time I see him interact with our boys.  And so on and so forth :)

Happy anniversary my love--here's to many more years of learning to love!

A lot can happen in three years...

Dad and Dene' are talking about special places in Lincoln and Dubuque (respectively) this week, and--how convenient--the Colorado Cranes had an opportunity to revisit a very special place in Denver this weekend.

image credit

The Inn at Hudson Gardens will always hold a very special place in our hearts.  A little over three years ago (three years, three months, and almost two weeks, to be a little more precise) Alex and I had our wedding reception at the above location (with significantly barer surroundings, both in January and this weekend).  Last weekend Alex's cousin Heidi and her husband celebrated their wedding reception at the same location. It was so much fun to take a nice little stroll down memory lane (although I must admit both evenings are a bit of a blur; the first because I was the bride, the second because I was dividing my attention between an over-active toddler and an over-tired infant).

Dancing to Jim Brickman "You Are the Love of My Life"

My dad toasting us

Fast forward three+ years...

A sippy cup for toasting instead of champagne flutes

Handsome handsome boys!

Snuggly baby, happy daddy

I can't wait to see what the next three years, three months and two weeks bring!

7 Quick Takes (vol. 19)

--- 1 ---

I'm exhausted and it should be bedtime--and will be, as soon as these quick takes are done.  They will actually be quick this week.  And random.  Very random.

--- 2 ---

Liam is smiling up a storm and staring to coo as well.  I love it.  Love. It.  He has such a wide, flirty smile.  But he has a bit of his brother's obstinate streak and I haven't captured one of the captivating smiles on camera yet.  I still get too caught up in watching him smile and smiling back at him, and by the time I remember to grab the camera to snap a pic, he's decided he's hungry or tired or just feeling ornery.

--- 3 ---

I missed a few gems in my latest post about Michael's words.  Current favorites: nammit  for napkin (which he wants to have with every meal, but you have to watch him to make sure he doesn't drown his nammit in ketchup and then wipe it all over his tray), and ... other favorites, that I will remember when I am nursing Elmo at 3am tonight/tomorrow morning but can't for the life of me remember now.

--- 4 ---

Michael has started asking for nap time/bedtime songs by name.  The two songs I sing are Deep  (Oh the Deep Deep Love of Jesus) and Mary (Sing of Mary).  Daddy's songs are Trains (Little Toy Trains) and Santa (Up on the Housetop).  They'll probably continue well past this Christmas season because I don't think Michael will go to bed without Trains and Santa.

--- 5 ---

Oh, I remembered.  Another favorite Michael word is bidge (yes, it sounds an awful lot like something he shouldn't be saying) for bridge.  He absolutely LOVES bridges, so driving down the interstate is always a treat.  But my favorite is when he asks for more bidges and we tell him there are no more bridges between where we are and where we're going, and then he yells at the top of his lungs BYE BYE, BIDGES!!!

--- 6 ---

House update: there is no update, really.  The first bank sold the mortgage to another bank when we were DAYS away from having a signed contract.  So. Mad.  That was like a month ago.  So now we're waiting (hoping) for the second bank to sign off on everything the first bank had (mostly) signed off on.  (If I end a sentence in two prepositions do they cancel each other out?  Oh no, I just ended in another preposition... argh.)  So we're waiting.  And waiting.  And waiting.  Etc.

--- 7 ---

And to end on an awww kind of note instead of an arggghhh kind of note: Alex and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary on Wednesday.  I can't believe we've been married only 3 years already.  Crazy and wonderful!!!

No idea about these expressions...
captions welcome in the comments!

          

Go see Jen for more quick takes!  Happy Friday :)

This Saying is Hard--Thoughts on the 21st Sunday in Ordinary Time

"Many of Jesus' disciples who were listening said, 'This saying is hard; who can accept it?'"  -John 6:60

I love this line from today's Gospel reading.  I find myself using it pretty regularly--"God, this situation is ridiculously hard; do you really expect me to accept it?" (Especially in those early morning/late night/no nap situations... really?  I'm really supposed to be able to get through this?  And with a good attitude?!  Ha.)

And I love that in her divinely bestowed wisdom our Church has paired this reading from the end of the Bread of Life Discourse with Paul's exhortation to spouses from Ephesians 5.  Sitting in Mass today we went directly from "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.  This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5:31-32) to "This saying is hard; who can accept it?"

I find this pairing particularly appropriate on two different levels.  Everywhere we turn today we find people who look at the Church's teachings on marriage and sexuality and respond with "This saying is hard (and ridiculous, out-dated, oppressive, hateful, etc.); who (in their right mind) can accept it?"  How many of Jesus' 21st century disciples have walked (or drifted) away from his words of everlasting life because they are hard? 

On an even deeper level, hearing these two readings paired highlights the beautiful connections between marriage and the Eucharist.  St. Paul tells us at the end of today's reading from Ephesians that the maritial union of a man and woman becoming one flesh is a great mystery--and it is to be understood in relation to Christ and his Church.  Alex and I chose this passage as the second reading at our wedding Mass.  We did so for several reasons (one of which may or may not have been an attempt to scandalize some of our guests with the very non-PC language of submission), but primarily because we felt this one passage most clearly summarized the wedding vows.  The mystery of truly becoming one flesh in marriage requires the mutual submission about which St. Paul writes (although you may have missed the mutual part if you got the shortened version at Mass today).  As a wife, I submit to Alex.  Not as a doormat, not as a slave, not as someone whose ideas or preferences or dignity is somehow less important than his.  Rather, I do so as someone who has chosen to place herself under his mission.  In short, I submit to Alex as I do to Christ.  And I am called to do this because he is also called to submit.  This can be easy to miss in reading Ephesians 5--we hear about wives submitting first and it can be hard to get past that to fully consider what husbands are called to do in turn.  But the role of husband being discussed second actually places a stronger emphasis on the way in which he is called to sacrifice.  It's not exactly the same way--in fact, in my opinion, it's an even harder way.  As a husband, Alex is head of our family as Christ is head of the Church.  That means death--death to self for my sake, just as Christ died for the Church.  Alex is called to submit everything for my good.  That makes it pretty easy (at least in theory) for me to submit to him.

But this is still a hard saying--because I'm fallen I don't always want to submit, even when it makes sense in theory.  Thank God for the grace of the sacrament of marriage, and for the grace of the Eucharist--the sacramental marriage feast between Christ and his bride, the Church.  And just as real physical union is necessary to the sacrament of marriage, so also in our marriage to Christ we experience real physical union with God through receiving Jesus--body, blood, soul and divinity--in the Eucharist.

John is relating the reaction of many of Jesus' followers upon hearing the shocking claim that Jesus' flesh is quite literally true food and his blood is true drink.  Some of them simply cannot/will not accept this and they leave.  But Paul's sayings about marriage--both between a man and woman here on earth, and between Christ and his Church for all eternity--are also hard. 

I don't know about you, but I desperately need the first to live out the second!

Live and Let Die: Why the Catholic Church can't endorse same-sex "marriage"

Both leading up to and in the wake of the approval of the North Carolina amendment banning same-sex “marriage,” I've seen any number of posts on Facebook calling on Christians to be "real Christians" and live and let live, stop discriminating, etc.  I want to address two main points concerning this type of argument to show how for a Christian to endorse the homosexual lifestyle would actually be to "live and let die" rather than "live and let live."  The first is to give a simple explanation of what the Catholic Church actually teaches on homosexuality, and the second is to take a quick look at what it actually means to ask Christians to accept and support the homosexual lifestyle.

This is not an argument for the Catholic Church's position on homosexuality and same-sex "marriage."  That is a much longer conversation which I am willing to have with anyone who is interested, but it is not my purpose here.  

Let me say first that I have several friends and family members who have identified themselves as homosexuals, and I love you each oh-so-dearly.  I'm making every attempt to say this in a way that will not be offensive to you.  I am not judging you.  In fact, although the Church makes definitive judgments about the morality of certain acts, the Church also prohibits me (or anyone else, from the Pope on down) from making a particular judgment about the state of your soul (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1861).  I just want to say something about what the Catholic Church teaches about the homosexual lifestyle.  Maybe you've heard this before, but if not then I'm sorry it has taken this long for someone to tell you!

In a sense, the call for Christians to “live and let live”—insofar as it means to treat others with respect and dignity—is valid.  The Catholic Church calls us to love every human being, whether we agree with them or not.  In fact, the Catechism of the Catholic Church states that, "The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. ... They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.  These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition" (CCC 2358, emphasis mine).  So acting on homosexual tendencies is a sin, but failing to treat homosexuals with love and respect is also a sin.

The confusing part for so many people is that there is a difference between loving and respecting a person who thinks differently and ignoring or discounting that difference in belief altogether.  The Church calls us to love and respect one another, but at the same time not to ignore what Scripture and Tradition teach about marriage.  Loving someone doesn't necessarily mean endorsing their lifestyle.  In fact, when you see that someone you love is acting in a dangerous or self-destructive manner, you won't encourage that behavior!  The Church loves her children, and so does not want them to remain in the self-destructive pattern of sin--she will not simply sit back and live and let die!

Believe it or not, the Church doesn't endorse the homosexual lifestyle (and cannot support same-sex "marriage") because the Church wants everyone to be really, truly happy.  This may sound bizarre, but it's true.  To put it simply (I hope), the Church believes that God created the human person with a specific end in mind--to find our ultimate happiness and fulfillment in Him (CCC 1).  All the "rules and regulations" of Catholicism aren't there to control or limit us--they are more like a user guide to the human person.  The user guide for my new laptop battery tells me not to drive a nail through the battery--not because the people at Toshiba are mean and power-hungry, but because they want my laptop battery to function correctly and not explode (or whatever it would do if I hammered a nail through it... anyone know?).

In the same way, the Church tells us--based on God's revelation through Scripture and Tradition--that there are certain correct "operating conditions" for sex--among them that it must be within a marriage between one man and one woman, and that it must be open to bringing forth new life.  Not because the Church hates homosexuals or polygamists or people using contraception, but because--according to the world-view which is inherent to the Catholic Church's identity--sex outside of these correct "operating conditions" is intrinsically damaging to the persons involved.  This is why living a homosexual lifestyle is (and always has been, see Leviticus 18:22 and Romans 1:26-28, for example) considered a sin (a "rejection of God and opposition to him," CCC 386)--it is a rejection of God's "operating instructions" for human sexuality.  (It’s also important to note, however, that just as experiencing the temptation to any other sin is not itself sinful, so also experiencing homosexual tendencies is not sinful if they are not embraced or acted upon.)

Now remember, this is not an argument for whether the Church is right or wrong.  This is also not a comprehensive examination of the Church's teachings on the human person, human sexuality, and marriage.  But when you boil it down, the Church teaches (and always has taught) that God created man.  He created man to be happy.  Man can only be happy by attaining the goal for which he was created.  A homosexual (or promiscuous, or contraceptive) lifestyle works against the goal for which man was created.  Therefore, regardless of the emotions in the moment, man cannot ultimately be happy in that kind of lifestyle.

You might disagree with the Church's teachings on homosexuality, and that's fine.  You're welcome to disagree.  But hopefully this helps you know more accurately with what exactly it is you're disagreeing.  The Catholic Church neither promotes nor condones hateful words or actions toward anyone, including homosexuals.  The Catholic Church calls for an attitude of love, respect, and compassion toward those who experience homosexual tendencies, regardless of whether or not they act on them.  The Catholic Church recognizes that it can be a huge burden to have homosexual tendencies and chose to live in accordance with Church teaching--and yet she still calls people to this life out of a sincere desire for their well-being and happiness.

I know that a lot of Christians fail miserably at loving and respecting those living a homosexual lifestyle.  Some of you reading may have experienced this firsthand-- I hope I've never been the source, but I want to apologize if I have, and also on behalf of all those who have failed you.  But while you have every right to demand that Christians treat you with the dignity that you fully deserve—please understand that asking Christians to endorse same-sex "marriage" is essentially asking us to change what we believe about 'life, the universe, and everything' (to steal a phrase from Douglas Adams).  Literally.  If marriage doesn't have to be between one man and one woman, then 2000 years of Christian Tradition are wrong.  Scripture isn't really inspired by God and inerrant.  The Catholic Church isn't who she says she is.  Being Christian doesn't really mean what we've always said it means.

You might agree with all of those statements--and you're welcome to try to convince me of them.  Know the Church's position, argue against it logically, and let's have a discussion!  But please, don't expect me to buy the line that “real Christians will support homosexuals in their lifestyle because it's the loving thing to do.”  Whether you believe that the Catholic Church receives her identity directly from God or not, at the very least she has the right to define her own identity.  The Catholic Church has defined what it means to be truly Catholic, and that includes adhering to a worldview in which marriage cannot be other than between one man and one woman.  Those who are demanding that Christians support same-sex "marriage" should at least acknowledge that they are asking Christians to redefine what it means to be Christian. 

Because if we truly believe what the Church teaches about 'life, the universe, and eveything,' then we as Christians are failing miserably if we do not share that message (always with love--no matter how tempting it is to beat someone over the head with it).  We say we believe that we know the Way, the Truth, and the Life--the key to ultimate happiness.  We also say we are called to love everyone.  So if I believe I have the key to ultimate happiness, and I say that I love you, and yet when I see you living in a way contrary to what I firmly believe to be your best interests and I say nothing (or worse, I encourage you in that behavior)--I am a complete hypocrite.  This is no excuse for sharing the truth without love (or misrepresenting the truth, such as claiming to know that all homosexuals or any other specific person/group is going to hell).  It is simply an explanation of why I, as a Christian, cannot stand by and live and let die.  From the Christian worldview, there is no "live and let live" option in this sense.
For the Church, this actually isn't an issue of "letting" same-sex couples get married.  It's simply a matter of what marriage actually is or is not.  The Church is neither the author nor the editor of marriage--therefore the Church has no authority to redefine marriage to mean something other than what God has defined it as: a permanent union between one man and one woman.

I welcome your input--but please keep all comments civil!